"Still"

She sat
Still.
In self-commiseration
Knowing what’s to come.
Peering down
Still.
Pulling at her clothing
Foreseeing the inevitable.
Tears falling
Still.
A mother too early
It’s happened.
She’s failed
Still.
Wanted to be loved
This was the answer.
Looking in the mirror
Still.
Feeling unworthy
Unprepared for it all.
No choice left
Still.
Everyone is disappointed
She can’t go back.

A child
Still.
A blessing
Loved by God.
A mother
Still.
A responsibility
To cherish.
A family
Still.
To nurture
And believe in.
A hope
Still.
God is in it
He is sovereign.
A love
Still.
Always there
It won’t disappear.
Saved by grace
Still.
Purified by the blood
No matter.


This weekend I found out one of the students in my youth group is pregnant. As I read about characterization and how it comes from the “why” I was motivated to write about my girl. The first stanza of the poem reflects the difficulty, disappointment, fear, consequence of it all and the second stanza reflects that God is still in this, the child is still a blessing and this too will be a testimony of the mother and child redeemed and loved by God. I’m no poet, but this really helped me to process a lot of the emotions I have felt with my girl this weekend. It’s been rough, but God is greater.